My boyfriend and I love sex in unusual places — like my ex’s back seat

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week we hear from Sam, a 38-year-old writer and mother of two from the US.

For 13 years, Sam was married to a man who she says cheated on her, was ‘emotionally unavailable’ and didn’t put his family first.

But in 2023, while still with her husband, Sam was at a quiz night when she met Carl*.

Perhaps surprisingly, Sam says her then-husband, who she shares a 16-year-old son with, encouraged her blossoming relationship with Carl, knowing their marriage had run its course.

Now, Sam is divorced, and happily coupled up with Carl. She says the pair have an adventurous sex life – doing it at least twice a week.

They enjoy filming themselves while having sex, and doing the deed in some rather unusual places.

‘I love that my boyfriend is eager to please me and it makes me comfortable trying new things with him,’ Sam explains.

Sam adds that when they pair get intimate, it ‘feels like lightning’, adding: ‘We prioritise keeping the spark alive.’

Without further ado, here’s how Sam got on this week…

The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.

Monday

Carl is taking night classes to become a massage therapist, so he leaves for college in the early evening.

I do some household chores and get the kids ready for bed – we live with my son, and Carl’s eight-year-old daughter.

I put on a little slip when it’s time to sleep. Carl will come home late, and sometimes he wakes me with his touch between my legs.

I’ve always enjoyed the sensation of being woken up by sex, and I guess it came naturally with us – we would sleep and just reach for each other during the night.

But we always have open conversations about what we are and are not okay with – we know this is something that we both like.

I fall asleep, looking forward to waking up beside him.

Tuesday

I get up early and Carl meets me in the kitchen before work to give me a kiss. His tongue finds mine, and I pull back to preserve my lipstick.

‘You do as I say,’ he growls. He lifts me onto the counter, where he sucks my nipples and his hands massage me. I feel myself get turned on.

I tell him he has to get to work, and as we kiss goodbye he whispers: ‘I want to f**k you so bad right now.’

Carl can be very dominant in the bedroom, and since we’ve been together, I like finding my submissive side, giving in to his instructions. I have anxiety and like to be in control day to day, so this gives me that break to stop, and feel things in the moment.

He leaves, and it takes every ounce of self-control I have to keep myself from masturbating.

I wanted to wait for him, but by the time we go to bed that night we’re both too exhausted, and head straight to sleep.

Wednesday

I crawl back into bed with Carl after coffee and breakfast. He slept only in his underwear, and I love the feel of his bare skin. I begin to kiss his forehead, his face, his neck, ever so gently.

He smiles as he slowly awakens with the touch of my lips. He pulls me beside him. ‘Now it’s my turn to touch you,’ he whispers. He starts to slowly turn me on with his fingers, then his tongue. Soon, I find myself climaxing.

I climb on top of him and roll my hips front to back until I can feel my body tingling with another orgasm. I’m screaming. Luckily, the kids aren’t home.

For Carl, finishing is never his purpose – it’s all about me. When we first got together though, I used to get offended that he wouldn’t climax.

But, he explained to me that he enjoys seeing my pleasure – and in turn, that’s all the pleasure that he needs.

I had never experienced this before, and now, I feel so lucky to have a man who is eager to satisfy me.

Thursday

My ex-husband and I are still civil, and today, he’s doing some work on my car. He asks to take it away to get some extra parts, and he leaves his own vehicle at my house, so I can use it.

Carl has a kink for videos and pictures of our sexy escapades, and we decide the car would provide the perfect film set – it’s fun to try out different locations. I don’t stop to consider my ex-husband may not be okay with the idea of us doing it in his back seat. Oops.

We climb into the car and turn on the GoPro. I rub myself against him as we kiss passionately. He grows hard, and I begin riding him. It’s night time, so no one can see us.

Eventually, we move outside. I sit on the workbench stool, and Carl poses me for photos.

I used to worry about how much X-rated content he had of me, and perhaps I should have been a little more cautious to begin with. But now, we’ve built a foundation of trust and I enjoy feeding his desires.

Friday

We’re going out tomorrow night for our anniversary but Carl comes home for lunch to surprise me. We spend time on the sofa holding hands and talking, always wanting to be near each other.

I give him his gift: a new razor set that he loves. He’s bought us tickets to an adult retro prom tomorrow night.

It’s not long before he has to go back to work. I eat dinner and do housework. Eventually, he comes through the door with a bouquet of flowers, a huge card, and a gift bag full of sweets and stuffed animals for me.

The inside of the card promises an engagement ring, when he finds just the right one. I feel so lucky to be looking forward to our future ahead. We cuddle some more before I head up to bed, and he stays downstairs to study.

Saturday

I was hoping to sleep in with the prom tonight, but I’m an early riser and I’m wide awake at 4am, so I start the coffee and sit beside Carl in bed as he sleeps.

I lay beside him and fall back to sleep until 10:30, which feels refreshing.

Later, we prepare ourselves for the prom and head out for a night of dancing and drinks. When it’s time to leave, we hang around in the fresh air for a while so we can sober up. He falls asleep, and soon I’m bored and unzipping his pants.

He wakes up, turns the phone to record, and I’m on my knees.

After he finishes, we get a cab home. I step in the door, and he pulls off my dress but we don’t have sex, we just fall asleep on eachother.

Sunday

Carl and I get together with our friends once a month, which always involves drinks, food and debates about the state of the world.

Events like this make us closer, as communication has always been our strong suit.

After, we clean up together and relax on the sofa. I lay on Carl’s warm arm as he strokes my hair. I fall asleep quickly, as he’s always such a comfort to me.

He wakes me when it’s time to go upstairs. In bed, I whisper ‘I love you’ as I drift off to sleep. We have mind-blowing sex, but these small gestures of affection are so important too.

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