A stressed out person sits at a table at their workplace.
Not everyone in the workplace is culturally competent. With recent diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts, it’s hard to witness brands and companies practice performative allyship as a direct response to the deaths of unarmed Black men. Performative allyship often entails micro-aggressions that non-Black people may not even realize are offensive. Experiencing micro-aggressions can seriously impact a person’s mental health.
“A micro-aggression can cause a blow to the victim’s psyche, the accumulation of micro-aggressions can result in increased symptoms of anxiety, depression, feelings of isolation, and low self-esteem,’ said child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist Dr. Thomas Hughes, the owner of The CUBE Mental Health Services and co-owner of Seen Psychiatry.
‘‘Because of the very nature of micro-aggressions in that they are ‘small’ insults that might be made subconsciously, there is an increased chance that they go unnoticed, further making an accumulation of micro-aggressions more likely.”
From blatantly racist comments to the expectation to produce more work than white coworkers, being Black at work is far from easy.
According to a report from Indeed, 49% of Black people in the workforce are considering leaving their jobs. This is likely due to experiencing racism at work. Here are some phrases you should not say to Black colleagues.
Can I Touch Your Hair?
Hair plays a major role in Black culture. Curls, locs, and braids are a source of pride. Never suggest that someone Black at work should change their hair. Ask yourself if your Black colleague’s commitment to being unapologetically Black feels threatening. If so, you may need to re-evaluate what anti-racist allyship really means.
Most importantly, do not touch your Black colleague’s hair. That is one of the worst ways to show disrespect towards a Black person in the workplace.
As someone who has natural hair, it can be especially hard to work in predominantly white spaces. When I first started wearing my natural hair at work, a white colleague touched it within a matter of weeks. But I refused to put down my curl pudding and pick up a straightener.
White employees should be super cautious about how they approach hair. Do not comment on Black a person’s hair at work. Do not touch their hair. Do not ask questions about their hair.
Instead, approach your Black coworkers with the same amount of empathy and respect as any other person at work.
You’re So Articulate
It isn’t unusual to hear this at work. From the workplace to academia, there is an attitude that it’s a surprise when a Black person is intelligent.
While it may seem like a compliment, telling a Black person “you’re so articulate” is a slap in the face. This emphasizes stereotypes about Black people. From calling Black people lazy to assuming Black people aren’t smart, these archaic views still exist in the minds of many white people, especially those who have little exposure to Black people.
As a colleague, it is important that you do not make assumptions about Black employees. You’d be surprised at how diverse Black people are— we don’t all speak the same way or love the same things. Black people are not a monolith, so don’t treat us like one.
Where Are You Actually From?
Getting this question is always baffling. As someone whose identity is deeply rooted in being African-American, it hurts to have someone question my race or nationality. To ask a Black person where they are from assumes they are not a part of the collective strength and beauty of African-American culture.
Never assume someone Black at work is from outside of the United States. Let them tell you, and ask “where are you from?” after your Black coworker asks first.
And remember— Black people want to feel as welcome as their white counterparts. We are sick and tired of being treated as less than. We are tired of dealing with microaggressions at work, in our everyday lives, and on social media.
If a Black person gets upset with you for crossing a boundary, do not leap to the conclusion that they are “the angry Black person.” Do not suppress their feelings or words— just listen. All we want is to be seen and heard.
