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We’ve all heard that people don’t leave bad companies, they leave bad managers. If you’ve been working for a while, you have likely encountered a “bad manager.” Sometimes the answer to this less-than-ideal situation is to just make the best of it, especially if the job market in your field is limited, making it hard for you to jump ship. But sometimes your boss’ behavior is truly egregious and violates the values that are important to you. It’s time to make a plan to cut ties altogether if your boss:
1. Has one measure of success: Output.
Your boss doesn’t care if you burn out. At least you can be useful until you do. Your boss’ only measure of your value is how much you can do for her. There is no human connection or emotion. It feels transactional. When you’re not valued as a person, you’re treated as a commodity—someone who can do the work now, regardless of future possibilities. You can be replaced by anyone who has the same job title.
2. Doesn’t give you what you need.
If there are things that will make your life easier and make you more productive and happier at work, your boss should be willing to provide them, whether that means having a standing desk or allowing you to work from home one day a week. If your boss says “No” to every reasonable request or suggestion, prepare to exit.
3. Isn’t interested in helping you learn and grow.
If your boss isn’t thinking about development opportunities, he doesn’t see your value. He should be identifying learning opportunities and stretch challenges that will help you grow. If you’re not growing, you’re not standing still—you’re falling behind. Your boss should be having regular discussions with you about the new skills you’d like to build so you can expand your success and keep your career moving forward. This requires him to invest time and money in your professional development.
4. Gives you the really undesirable assignments.
When you see all the inspiring work going to your colleagues while you continue to churn out projects that are necessary but uninteresting, you feel taken advantage of. If all the unappealing grunt work always lands on your plate and there’s little hope of having those exciting, high-profile opportunities that your colleagues are getting, it may be time to quit your boss.
5. Wants to keep you for himself—selfishly.
Although your manager needs to do what’s right for the team, an empathic manager is focused on what’s right for the individual and the company too. When your boss sees a career advancement opportunity for you inside the organization, he should help you pursue it. Sure, it would make life more difficult for him, but it would be good for you and for the company—and ultimately good for his position in the company.
6. Disses you in front of others.
When you feel overt or even subtle frustration, anger or hostility or outright humiliation from your boss, it’s time to have a conversation. If it’s a regular activity your boss likes to engage in, it’s not alright. No amount of humiliation should be tolerated, and you should never find yourself wondering if you are the root of their anger. Unless your job is sparring partner, you weren’t hired to be a punching bag.
7. Makes you feel like he dreads meeting with you.
When you can’t get on your boss’s calendar but you see your colleagues having regular meetings with her, it’s clear that she has no time for you, not that she has no time. A boss who truly appreciates you invests the time necessary for you to feel heard and appreciated.
8. Doesn’t know anything about you.
Except for your email address and where your cubicle is (assuming you work in the office), your boss knows nothing about you and doesn’t really care to know. In fact, she’d really be happier managing a team of robots. An effective leader is curious and interested in who you are as a person—your interests and aspirations. She takes an interest in your life outside of work and is willing to make accommodations for your personal needs. Your boss should want to know if you are taking care of a newborn or if you just purchased your first home. If you feel uncomfortable mentioning your home life and think you should keep your after-hours life a mystery, you’re missing out (and so is your personal brand).
9. Withholds praise, recognition and feedback.
The way we learn and grow is through trial and error. Sometimes, minor tweaks to how we do things can have a dramatic impact on our future success. Your boss should be providing consistent, unsolicited, constructive feedback to you so you can refine your skills and correct your course when necessary. If your boss waits until the required formal performance review to tell you how you’re doing (that is, if you have a review at all), they don’t value you. When your boss acknowledges you—especially in front of others—they’re signaling that you’re an important part of the organization. These pats on the back are reminders of the good work you are doing, and they fuel you to continue moving forward. On the flip side, if your boss has zero interest in nurturing your strengths and only wants to spew criticism, they’re doing serious damage to your career development.
10. Jokes with or about you in inappropriate ways.
If your boss likes to tease you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable, it’s worth bringing it to her attention. If she continues after you tell her how it makes you feel, you must move on. You weren’t hired to be the butt of anyone’s jokes.
The most effective leaders understand the importance of forming partnerships with their people that help the whole team thrive. If your boss doesn’t get that, it’s time to part ways.
William Arruda is a keynote speaker, co-founder of CareerBlast.TV and co-creator of the Personal Brand Power Audit – a complimentary quiz that helps you measure the strength of personal brand.
